In a decision being touted by prosecutors as a major victory in the war on inmate cellphone usage, jurors slapped Texan Michael Manor with a surprising 40-year sentence for what they considered the very serious crime of possessing a cellphone in prison. Manor, who was already serving 32 years on auto theft charges, was not even charged with using the phone for criminal purposes; rather, the long sentence comes as a result of a new zero-tolerance cellphone policy in the Texas prison system, where the offense was recently given third-degree felony status. Corrections offers are also a target of the crackdown, with prosecutors promising to bring offenders in front of juries instead of offering them probation, although there are concerns that the stricter penalties may actually make smuggling appear more lucrative.

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Guess whose favorite scandal-ridden carousing ex-gangster party animal Los Angelean Swede just got charged with felony counts of embezzlement, grand theft auto, and illegal possession of a firearm by felon? You got it, Stefan Eriksson. who supposedly faces 14 years in prison, if found guilty. What, you didn't think someone this shady was going to go about his business forever more without further question after that fateful evening last February, did you? Oh, and FYI, the handsome, mysterious Dietrich -- the man accused by Eriksson of driving the $1m Enzo into the pole at 160mph -- continues to evade capture, despite prosecuters' claims he does not exist. We have just received word, however, that he was spotted late last week attempting to cross the Canadian border in a Groucho Marx disguise and Ferrari PowerWheels.

[Thanks, Alex B]